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Trevor Price

Born in 1887. Horse orthodonist and connoisseur of Vimto. Favourite seduction method is to sing a lullaby rendition of "Knees Up Mother Brown" accompanied by trombone and therimn. Handy with a Bowie Knife but happier with a blueberry blancmange. Voted for Electrolux in the 1932 Presidential Election. Most favoured herb: Parsley. Turned down a proposal of polygamy from the Van DeGroote sisters. While aboard any two-masted vessel always wears pants inside out and back to front. Represented in all court cases by Harbottle, Kinch and Rumsfeld. Took up the pen while convalescing from a volcanic erruption. Under the keen, silver-blue gaze of the full moon is liable to turn into a chrysanthenmum. Author of "Bathtime with a Shoggoth" MindMyBunion! Press (1959) "To Jupiter and Back on a Dandelion" CrabApple Press (1962) "Insuffrina Tuttiyana -- The Tonsured Temptress" Harvard University Press (1963) "The Sugar-Coated Phalanx -- a Survey of Lily-Livered Armies Throughout History" Deep Fried Angel Publications (1974) "The Old Cloud -- A Study of Fog in Bloxwich, UK" Harvard University Press (1977) "Germolene -- The Smell and Texture of Social Failure" Yale University Press (1991) "Implementing Unix on the Goblin Teasmade" Babarni Computer Books (1992) "How to Boil an Egg in Your Dishwasher and Other Copper-Bottomed Recession-Proof Cooking Tips" Faber & Faber (2008). Up and coming for 2013, "Candy from Saturn"

Current Releases
Doomed to embark on a downward spiral of self realisation, Jason embezzles the Inland Revenue, saves the skin of a mafiosi businessman, corrupts the local Neighbourhood Watch Scheme and commits a grotesque and absurd murder. All this merely to unc...
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Insane & Out
Carla the florist is surrounded by the duplicitous and the craven – and that’s just her flowers. The human beings are infinitely worse, especially the men. There’s Gwynne, her oafish and cold-hearted brother, Gerald, the suave an...
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Nomance
Trapped in a dead-end job, Herman’s luck finally seems to change when his uncle Sonny, a psychopathic taxi driver, dies in prison and Herman inherits his house and car. But Sonny's legacy proves to be poisonous and step by step Herman is...
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Herman's History


Visit Trevor Price's website: http://coldportcalling.blogspot.co.uk/




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