Following My Heart
by Sean Michael
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Nine months ago Jimmy asked Scotty to become his sub, but Scotty couldn't
handle it and he left, scared to death of what Jimmy wanted.
"Shaved bare -- completely. Inked. Pierced. Plugged. A full time boy, a full
time sub. My boy." Jimmy's words have haunted Scotty every since he walked
out the door. Now he's back, and he hopes it isn't too late for him to take
Jimmy up on the terrifying offer.
Four fucking cups of coffee.
Four cups of coffee, three trips to the bathroom, six hours and a lot of deep breathing and I still can't cross the fucking street.
My hair is getting in my eyes, keeping me from focusing on the window across the way, the sign there. I tie it back, take another breath and tell myself it's time. Now.
The last time I was in there was... what? Eight month ago? Almost nine. Shit. We'd fought hard, damn hard -- complete with screaming and broken furniture, accusations and blame. It had been over.
It was over.
All the running I've done, and it doesn't fucking matter. All I can think of is him; all I dream about is the things he asked for, the last thing he said to me.
"You're a fucking coward, Scotty. Scared to ask for what we both need."
Shaved bare -- completely. Inked. Pierced. Plugged. A full time boy, a full time sub. His boy.
I can't, right?
That's not me.
No one has made me want like he did.
And I keep dreaming and...
I'm moving across the street, knowing I look out of place with my preppy clothes, my oh-so-Bohemian ponytail, my whole life reduced to a backpack. I open the door to the studio, grab the help wanted sign and look into the face of the man I love more than life. "I'm here about a job."
Jimmy's eyes go wide, and then narrow. "Scotty."
I nod. What else am I supposed to do? "Yeah."
He puts the paintbrush down and crosses his arms. "A job."
God, he's beautiful.
"Anything. I was wrong."
"Anything?" His voice is like smooth whiskey.
"Anything." This time, I mean it.
"Go lock the door and come upstairs."
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