Has fear or depression affected your lifestyle? Are you being overwhelmed by your challenges? Is the spectre of adversity guiding your decisions? Does it seem as if your dreams will never come true?
Take Heart! Author and trainer, Clayton Bye, presents a system that can help you clear away obstacles between you and your dreams. These simple, proven techniques have been used to:
• Stop Worrying • Forget Fear • Gain Self-Confidence • End Anger • Experience Greater Levels Of Energy • Achieve Almost Any Goal You Can Imagine
Clear: Free from anything that dims or darkens; bright; unclouded.
Would you enjoy spending your time on this earth free from anything that dims or darkens? It’s possible. You can walk under bright and unclouded skies any time you choose. All you have to do is shed unwanted or negative emotion. I call the process Getting Clear.
This isn’t a dream. You can opt to live a life of abundant joy, passion, enthusiasm and energy just as easily as you can make the thousands of daily decisions that lead to a life of lack. You are the fountainhead, the source, the originator of all your emotions. Barring physiological problems, you determine what you’ll feel at any given moment in any given situation. It’s a choice you make, over and over and over again - all the days of your life.
The first step to "getting clear" is awareness: What emotions do you find appealing? From this list, single out the emotion you’d most like to experience on a consistent basis. Is it love? Is it comfort? Is it self-confidence? Is it happiness, satisfaction or humour? Is it a combination of these feelings? What do you expect to achieve - in terms of emotions - because of the things you do?
Now, identify the emotions you don’t like. Hint: What are the opposites of the emotions you just identified? What experiences - in terms of emotions - do you hope to avoid because of the things you do?
Emotion is one of the major forces in our lives. You don’t race cars or skydive or travel or pursue a career or get married because of the physical results these activities will create - the trophies, money, lifestyle or companionship that your actions may bring. Look closely, and you’ll see that what’s important is the emotion evoked by the trophies, the money, the lifestyle or the companionship.
Emotion does more than drive us; I believe emotion sustains us. You race cars because controlling all that speeding machinery makes you feel powerful. You skydive because you find it exhilarating. You follow a certain career path because it’s fun and generates strong feelings of satisfaction. You choose companionship because you enjoy how the relationship makes you feel. I can say with certainty that you don’t make these behavioural choices so you can feel bad. Great emotions are lifestyle.
Become aware of what it is you want from life, then work to get free from anything that dims or darkens that vision. Get clear.
"Here’s a hundred bucks," he said to me.
"Every time we’ve run into each other in the past, you’ve asked me how I am - and I’ve told you. Well, not anymore. In the future, I’m always going to answer ‘Fantastic!’ Then I’ll tell you why. I’ll give you solid reasons for my answer. Clay, I’m going to be so enthusiastic, you won’t recognize me."
He looked at me, his head cocked, an expectant grin on his face.
He laughed. "Don’t you see? Next time I run into you, and I do what I’ve said I’m going to do, you give me five dollars. If not, you give yourself five dollars. The only way I can get my hundred bucks back is if I consistently act the way I’ve promised. Isn’t that a FANTASTIC idea?"
I had to chuckle. "It’s something all right."
I was still chuckling as I walked away with his hundred dollars in my pocket. Too bad I didn’t get to keep it.
The second step to "getting clear" is action: Small, achievable steps, taken on a consistent basis, not only move you inexorably toward the achievement of your dreams, they can also generate the emotions you want to experience. The idea is to pursue whichever task lies before you in a way that will allow you to generate the emotions most important to you.
The fellow in the last story did what I’m suggesting you do. He set things up so he had to be enthusiastic every time he saw me - or lose a hundred bucks. He gave himself one hundred reasons to take specific, consistent and effective action. What a superb way to achieve the feelings he wanted to be experiencing!
The next story illustrates my point in a different way. It also introduces the third step to "getting clear."
The matron of the house, while being well known for her bottomless larder and the magic she wrought with said provisions, was also just as well known for her religion.
Home late this Sunday evening, my grandfather took his position at the dinner table, passed his plate and got down to the business of eating. Our lady of the house cast a glance his way and asked in her thick brogue, "Have you been to kirk, Bill?" (Kirk is a Scottish term for church.)
Giving every appearance of being caught off guard, my grandfather replied "Yes."
The old woman watched as her boarder returned his attention to his plate. A few moments of silence ensued before she decided to swoop in for the kill.
"And what was the scripture?" she asked.
Bill slowly raised his head, stared her in the eye and said with great clarity of voice, "Behold, I was not there."
The third step to "getting clear" is analysis: Know where you’ve been, where you are and where you’re going. Study the results of your actions. Identify what you’ve achieved and what you haven’t. Action always produces results. Getting from where you are to where you want to go is largely a matter of paying attention to those results. Know what you’re getting. If one action moves you along the road of your dreams while another leads you astray, strike the less effective action from your repertoire. Follow the map of your results! It’s an approach that works.
My grandfather understood this fundamental truth. His comments in the preceding story were designed to diffuse the conflict building between himself and his matron. Astute analysis told him a clever and humorous response was the way to deal with the crafty landlady. Did she appreciate his wit enough that they both felt okay with the outcome? The pleasure he took from repeated telling of the story over the years left me believing the answer to that question is yes.
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